The Soul Perspective On Trauma: Soul Contracts, Old Heartbreak, and Healing

The Soul Perspective On Trauma: Soul Contracts, Old Heartbreak, and Healing

A few weeks after I had a kundalini awakening I started to remember even more sexual trauma in my childhood from one of my family members. I was shocked and appalled.

As time went on, and I continued my healing, I started to realize there was a huge, hurting heartbreak in my heart from him directly. It was incredibly shocking.

I sat with that for a long time. That piercing heartbreak was decades old. And there I was, at 27, discovering it for the first time. It had never occurred to me before then how deeply his actions and words would have impacted me. But I had trusted him implicitly, and he had completely taken advantage of my beautiful and naive innocence as little girl.

You were an emotional comfort to him, my guides had once told me. I wondered what his life must have been like at that time to be seeking emotional comfort in this way.

Either way, he was abusive and exploitative to me.

One summer, when I was thick in the process of reconciling with this aspect of my life, I had a profound spiritual experience. The presence of his soul, his energy (yes, this is different than the human ego/personality and it IS possible to communicate with someone’s soul/higher self this way) floated into my room one day when I was crying about him.

His soul was happy, smiley. Bright.

“Aren’t you happy?” He said to me.

I wiped tears from my eyes. “What are you taking about?”

“Aren’t you happy? I did what I said I was going to do to you!” He responded.

I thought about everything I had learned about soul contracts and agreements. And how, on the other side, this would have been something he would have agreed to fulfill for me in order for me to fulfill and live my life purpose.

He started up again. “Aren’t you happy? I did what I was going to do to you, so you can go and help all of these people. Aren’t you excited? You’re going to go and help all of these people!”

There was a strange relief in that truth, the ultimate truth, the spiritual truth, which eased my present discomfort and anguish in those moments. I used that truth as a guiding light as I navigated my healing journey. But ultimately, this visitation from his soul had only shown me to acknowledge the spiritual and soul purpose of these experiences as much as the grounded version of it that I was experiencing.

As time went on the idea of him started to fade away a little bit. I really de-centralized him from my narrative of my life events. I stopped acknowledging him, or giving him any power. If there was an energy from the past I felt was necessary to clear or heal, I bravely took it upon my self to face it, clear it, and move the energy from my body and energy field.

It took me a long time to accept what happened to me in my life. But the truth is, sexual trauma is not an uncommon experience. Many of us share similar stories, yet we can sometimes feel like we’re going through everything all alone. Healing in many ways is a kaleidoscope of reclamation, innovation, sovereignty, growth, heartbreak, and the occasional box of pepperoni pizza.

Connecting to my trauma on a deeply spiritual level, and understanding why I would have chosen these experiences by design, helped me to reframe the experiences in a way that helped me to step into my power and out of any sort of victimhood. Empowerment is the antithesis of victimhood, and integrating the soul perspective on trauma and acknowledging the truth of this is one of the most empowering things I did on this journey and path to healing.